Madonna and Guy: Make up, Don’t Break up!
By: Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil
The queen of the pop world is divorcing her film director husband. Madonna and Guy Ritchie were married for nearly eight years – practically a record by Hollywood standards, but the announcement came recently from the singer’s publicist that the two are calling it quits.
Of course there has already been – and there will no doubt continue to be – speculation over the cause of the divorce, including the suggestion that Madonna is, in fact, involved with baseball star Alex Rodriguez. These allegations were first put forth in July, when the baseball star was reportedly spotted making late-night visits to her New York apartment. Madonna even went as far as to issue a public statement at that point that she and her husband were NOT splitting up.
But, according to US Weekly, now that they have, Alex Rodriguez is definitely in the picture and spending more and more time with Madonna. Rodriguez already went through a divorce, thanks in part to the headlines about his involvement with the singer: his wife Cynthia filed when rumors of a relationship with Madonna hit the headlines.
Clues to the separation abound and include: Ritchie’s reported increasing frustration with Madonna’s faith, differences over how to raise kids, and arguments about where to live.
I believe that all these things – even the possible infidelity – could be worked through if the couple wanted to stay together. Of course, both people have to be willing to work at it, and some prefer not to, but I stand by the idea put forth in my book, Make up Don’t Break Up, that there are few things that can’t be worked through to save a marriage.
One or both people in situations that often lead to divorce are typically suffering from what I call the bio-chemical craving for connection. This is the idea that people experiencing stress, separation or loss often are inclined toward thrill-seeking behavior. This behavior is often revealed in the form of an affair. No doubt there is a lot of stress in a Hollywood relationship – whether that stress be raising kids, jet-setting, deciding on a religion, any one of a number of things!
Having an affair – or refusing to work on your relationship - is a way of acting out and not talking out extreme feelings in a person’s life.
In and of itself, a Hollywood affair is no surprise, as celebrities likely are under intense stress on a daily basis. They are therefore are more prone toward a self-medicated high to temporarily cancel out the stressful emotions they feel.