Doctor Bonnie

An English woman’s story sheds light on a different kind of abuse emerging: financial abuse. The woman, Seon, tells a UK paper that she endured violence and jealousy, as well as emotional and psychological abuse. An example she gives has her husband forcing her – when she became pregnant - to tell the state the baby was a product of a one night stand so she could claim support from the state and he wouldn’t have to contribute financially. When she wanted to leave him, he would then threaten to expose her for fraud.

That was only one of the ways he proceeded to control Seon financially. He would also force her to put all the credit cards and bills in her name, since she had better credit. By the time she had another kid, she was scared to leave for fear of not being able to care for her children. She had no confidence or self-esteem and felt worthless. In 2005, she built up the courage to finally leave him.

Abusers often use monetary means as another way to control their victim, and it can be very effective. This is why I encourage women – no matter what kind of relationship they’re in – to be involved and conscientious of the financial decisions going on. It can be as simple as engaging your partner in a conversation concerning the household (or your individual) budget(s) or it can be as in-depth as having your own, guilt-free bank account.

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