Doctor Bonnie

(originally posted on MoneyWiseWomenBlog.net)

I’ve been thinking lately how honesty can play a part in your sex life, and how that correlation can be extrapolated out to pertain to financial honesty, as well. I believe that honesty is integral to sex, and that the converse is also true: sex is integral to honesty. Let’s take a look:

When I think of safe sex, I don’t just think of sex with protection – although that is definitely important! - I think of all the things that are necessary for a healthy, safe, relationship: Intimacy with your partner, trust in your partner and in your relationship, and commitment to each other. You can’t have all these things – what I would deem as the broader definition of “safe sex” - without having honesty in a relationship.

Honesty encompasses a lot of things, and it most definitely includes the financial aspects of a relationship. Sure, talking about money, budgets, the mortgage, bills and the like definitely isn’t sexy! Well, probably not for most people! But it’s one of those aspects that is required of a relationship that demonstrates  the values mentioned above: intimacy, trust and commitment.

Additionally, honesty in a relationship means fidelity – sexually, financially, and emotionally. I talk about putting relationships back together in my books “Adultery, the Forgivable Sin,” and Can we Cure and Forgive Adultery?” and highlight the  idea that monogamy is a conscience decision. Fidelity  - in its various forms – is a decision you make to stay honest in your relationship. Fidelity, honesty, sex, and finances are all inter-connected. In a healthy relationship this can be a great thing!

Especially in tough economic times, it’s crucial for a committed couple to be on the same page financially. Even if in the past one person was responsible for the bills (or all of the financial duties) and the other didn’t pay too much attention, now is the time to get both people involved, especially if you’ve experienced an economic or financial change or shift. Financial matters concern BOTH people in a relationship, and both people should be involved in their execution!

This type of honesty – when approached correctly – will lead to a more intimate and trusting relationship, which means “safer” sex for all involved!
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil has been an internationally acclaimed relationship therapist for thirty years. New York magazine named her one of the city’s top therapists and Psychology Today named her one of America’s best therapists. Her most recent book, Financial Infidelity, is available on Amazon. You can also find her and her books on Facebook.

This entry was posted Wednesday, March 25th, 2009 at 10:10 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.