Doctor Bonnie

Money and sex are more closely tied than you may have first suspected – and there’s scientific research to back that up. A new brain-scan study showed that when young men were shown erotic pictures, they were more likely to take a bigger financial gamble than if they were shown a picture of something scary.

Perhaps not-so-surprisingly, the arousing pictures lit up the same part of the brain that also lit up when financial risks are taken.

The study involved 15 heterosexual young men at Stanford University and focused on the sex and money “hub” of the brain, which is near the base of the brain and plays a central role in what you consider to be pleasurable.

When the erotic images activated that hub, the men were far more likely to bet high on a random chance game that would earn them either a dollar or a dime.

Stanford psychologist Brian Knutson, a lead author of the study, says the trigger doesn’t HAVE to be sex – it could just as easily be something like a winning lotto ticket, good food or delicious dessert. Basically, he says, it’s all about the power of emotion and arousal and our financial decisions.

“It didn’t matter if the sexy woman didn’t tell you anything about the odds of winning a roulette game,” he explained. “What really matters is that the sexy woman is having an emotional impact. That bleeds over into your financial decisions.”

Part of a fulfilled life and relationship is keeping these emotional triggers – whatever they may be – from spilling over into your financial decisions too much. Letting sex – or food – affect your financial relationship can have a severe impact on your emotional relationship. For more behind this connection, check out my book, “Financial Infidelity.”

TheSimpleDollar.com wrote a great post about my most recent book, Financial Infidelity. Check out the article and let us know - have YOU been faced with financial infidelity, and if so, how did you deal with it?

John Edwards’ revelation that he had, in fact, had an affair with the woman that produced his videos in preparation for his campaign launch may have been news to those following his campaign but it didn’t come as a shock to his family. And given all the circumstances colliding in his life – his run for the presidency, his wife’s cancer – it’s not surprising that it all lined up to equal a marital infidelity.

John Edwards was likely suffering from what I call bio-chemical craving for connection - the theory that people experiencing stress, separation or loss often are inclined toward thrill-seeking behavior and this frequently manifests itself in the form of an affair. It’s a way of over-riding true emotions by opting for a “high” instead. It’s probably the case that Edwards couldn’t handle the idea of losing his wife and so he sought a way to cancel out that fear by deciding to have an affair. It’s a way of acting out – not talking out – extreme feelings in a person’s life. It’s also possible that, subconsciously, he was finding a “backup” for his wife, in the case that she did pass away. In the process, he may have ended up with a backup family, in the case that the child of the women he had an affair with is, in fact, his.

Politicians have a higher instances of affairs because they’re under intense stress on a daily basis, and therefore are more prone toward a self-medicated high to temporarily cancel out the stressful emotions they feel. Edwards had this problem to a greater extent. He was dealing with the stress of being a politician – and launching a campaign – as well as the possible impending loss of and separation from his wife. This is not to excuse his actions AT ALL, but rather to provide a way to understand why these types of situations seem to manifest themselves -especially when it comes to those in the public eye.

The good news is that since he said he came clean to his family a while ago, this situation can actually bring he and his wife closer. The truth is out in the open and ready to be dealt with. Traditionally, men have a harder time talking about their feelings and therefore seek “comfort” by engaging in risky behavior. Once this behavior is discovered – often in the form of an affair – it doesn’t have to signal the end of a relationship. Instead, it can be used as a spring board for honest discussion. To heal his marriage, Edwards needs to acknowledge the emotions and feelings at the root of the affair. The messy details are already in the public eye, now it’s time for he and his wife to engage in private introspection.